Working With Difficult People, Without Being One
What is the definition of a ‘difficult' person? Do you ever wonder why some people are difficult to be with?
A difficult person may be someone who was physically or verbally abused as a child. They may have been dyslexic, uncoordinated or bullied in school. Life may have been very difficult for them, and they've carried this over into their adult life.
Everyone is looking for love in their own way, but a ‘difficult' person may not think they deserve love or even know how to receive love. They may not know what love is all about or how to let people into their life. Couldn't this apply to most people?
When you think of a person who is ‘difficult', put yourself in their shoes to see how you would react if you had their lifestyle, their upbringing, or their programming.
In the Bible, Luke 6:41: says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Other people are our mirror. What we may not like about another person reflects something we may not like about ourselves.
Try not to judge. We are often not aware of how judgmental we are. We think that people are not ‘using their heads' when they do not think the same way we do. Accept people for what they are, not what you want them to be.
Everyone works out of his or her own programming. It is our programming that creates our actions and also influences the reactions of people around us.
Difficult Children
I remember how it was when I was volunteering at the Children's Receiving Home, a home for children that were very difficult, especially those who ran away repeatedly.
Every evening before I left to go home, I would go around the room and give each child a hug and say, "I love you."
There was one little girl about 6-years-old who was a constant runaway. After I hugged her and said "I love you" she started to cry.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
She answered, "Nobody ever hugged me before or said they loved me." Here was a child crying out for love and every one thought she was just being difficult.
As we get older we still crave love, and so we act out, like that little girl that just wanted someone to say, "I love you."
Using this viewpoint, there is no such thing as a ‘difficult' person, only someone who behaves differently from our model of how they should be behaving. It's good to remember that from their point of view, they may be doing just fine and may be thinking about how difficult you are.
When you become more aware of your own feelings, stop running on automatic drive, and start taking control of your own life with positive feelings, you will be surprised at how much easier it is to deal with ‘difficult' people.
LOOK FOR THE COMMON GROUND
By Tom Dalton
Living in a world of people, how do we survive?
Living with so many people, when will we realize
You and 1, we're so alike. You and 1, we're so a like.
And when I feel that I am right and you are wrong
I just smile when I see your face
Remember there's a oneness space.
Try to see the world through your eyes
And even If our point of view may seem to disagree
There's something we can understand,
I think that you'll agree.
We have to look for the common ground,
You can find it all around
Look for the love in everyone
Even if it's hard to see, you can find the unity.
Just look for the love in everyone.
In our living day to day, it's easy to forget
All our talk of brotherhood Just doesn't seem to fit.
There's a lot of broken hearts with nothing left to believe
Now it's time we made a start,
It's up to you and me.
Look for that common ground,
Look for the love in everyone.
After being diagnosed with arthritis and receiving cortisone for bursitis for 20 years and living on codeine for 25 years, Elizabeth found the cause of her aches and pains to be imbalances in the body-mind connection. Along with her husband Hap, Elizabeth has been an originator of simple self-help techniques for people dealing with learning disabilities, and chronic pain and stress. Elizabeth and her husband Hap have taught the Barhydt's Educational Self-Help Techniques (B.E.S.T. for Learning) internationally in 13 countries, the USA and Canada. To learn more about Elizabeth and her techniques, please visit www.lovinglife.org.
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